Imagine a world where a little boy or girl is expected to be “themselves”, instead of having to succumb to the social labelling of “good” or “bad”. This would be a world in which children would express their wants and needs freely without having to constantly please adults with their behaviour. It would be a world where children would grow up to be happy and fulfilled adults, pursuing the life of their dreams with courage, passion and confidence.
Let’s return to our world for a while. The main expectation parents, grandparents, teachers and the whole of society has from children is to be “good” and not bother them too much with their naughtiness. Otherwise, they are classified as “bad”. Of course, with being “bad” comes the punishment. With punishment, comes fear and low self-esteem. With fear and a low image of ourselves comes shame, the necessity to change our ways in order to fit in even if this may go against our nature, and last but not least, anger, lack of self-love, or even self-hatred.
Personally, I have struggled a lot with the “good girl” paradigm. I learned to be nice, decent, play by the rules, and have a “correct” and proper behaviour, all values that have been passed down from generation to generation in my feminine ancestral line. These qualities were meant to ensure fitting in as an accepted member of society. First being a good student, then a good girlfriend, a good wife and mother, a good employee, a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good colleague, even a good teacher, good at any job I did, and the list goes on.
But I was always conflicted inside. There was reaction boiling in my guts, this kind of reaction that turned into internalised anger. This anger could not be expressed, as that would mean being a “bad” girl and giving in to my shadow aspects. You see the “good/bad” tape plays in your head until you find a way to erase it.
Thankfully, being on the path of self-awareness has allowed me to see through and beyond this stereotyping. Understanding who you truly are can free you from all the binary programming in your mind. Getting to know and embrace all aspects of yourself can bring about the all-encompassing state of self-acceptance.
And it’s not because I am a woman that I had to overcome the good/bad binary. It is a universal pattern which touches men equally. Men and women need to reclaim their personal power by following a path of self-knowledge and self-love, while gradually peeling off the layers of the 3-dimensional dualistic programming.
If you wish to free yourself from such patters and restore your personal power, follow my blog and read my next post with the title “3 Ways to Reclaim Your Personal Power”.
Written by Eirini Kapsidou